Rehabilitation abuse

I initially went in for help, I was broken and barely alive and had no options, I was truly blessed that people helped me get in here and I was accepted in my condition. I was nursed back to health shown patients and love. Only through God did I get through that and am always grateful. I earned my way to becoming house father, it was extremely difficult and I felt bad cause people still had to pay for me to be there. I had sleepless nights with new people coming in, breaking up fights, always on my feet, helping to get sponsors to bring in food and new people, helping to get material to fix the place, taking out what little money I would get to help where I can, with fuel, helping people with coffee, snacks, food. I turned down a good job that would have been a great start to move on but I chose to stay. There were days I didn't even have a chance to eat, when I was needed to do something I would try to the best I could even at times when I was tired, burned out, or just didn't think it was OK to do something, I did this and many other things to show my gratitude and pay back my dues. I asked friends to get sponsors for chicken, veg and fruit so peoe could eat well as that's not how it was when I got there. I got very close to people and saw them as family, I had not exposed all my past cause it was not who I became, I was a new man and believed that, I was also embarrassed about my past. So I lived in the new person Jesus made me. I then was offered to be a share holder which I felt honored about. I started doing counselling and was still doing many many other things and didn't ask to get paid, people still paid for me to be there. I met someone that I didn't expect feelings to develop but I did, I spoke about it and said I'm afraid to love again, I was told before I even met this woman that I should not fear and meet her and marry her. Before I did this I spoke about everything. So I eventually met her and fell deeper in love. Spoke to the relevant people and said I'm with her. What shocked me is they were not happy, asking why I'm hiding her, not understanding that she was not ready to meet. My new partner and I kept extending our holiday cause neither of us wanted it to end and we got married, 40 years old and I finally find someone I want to marry and took the advice. All I got from this family was anger and arguing, tried to make them understand that she was not comfortable and I wanted her to meet the people I came to believe was family, eventually after 5 weeks of me asking her she said yes and she trusts me so I contacted them and said we coming, they were still very angry and could not understand, so I asked, I actually pleaded that they be gentle cause she is afraid and shy, this was suppose to just be a meet and greet. When we got there all I felt was anger. I could see as they walked up to me that there is trouble. We went in the house and first thing was we need to speak, you wanna speak in front of your wife or outside. How is this welcoming, how was this love. Any issues should have been left for another time not on the first meet. While I was outside with the pastor being run down and belittled told I must grow a pair of ***** and leave. Was asked how can I tell people im afraid of him, when I saw where his anger goes. I kept saying sorry not cause I believed I was wrong cause I didn't hide anything, but cause I saw the anger in his eyes and kept trying to keep him calm also explaining how hard it was for me to get her there and how much I saw them as family. My wife was in the house with Landi being told all sorts of things about my past which most of my wife and I already had shared with each other deep stories, we both at that stage had not exposed everything, I was made out to be a ****, was told I do nothing for the place, that they are helping and keeping me there cause I have nowhere and no job, I was embarrassed to tell my ew wife that I don't get paid and every month I have to make a plan for my needs even though I bent over backwards to grow the place, not for glory but to give back and I never asked for things while working, sleepless nights. My wife was told all this. Told basically I'm a nothing and nobody. I the whole time stayed calm and loving and kept saying sorry and was attacked over and over, we eventually left, my new wife said I thought you said they were like family and you speak so high of them, she said she felt so unwelcome and disrespected, felt pain for me and so badly wanted to stand up for me, she also said she understands me not exposing everything cause it's been short Time so don't let them make you feel bad but how could she speak about your life, expose your life, that's not her place, my wife was hurt that I felt embarrassed to tell her I'm not getting paid and believed I was lying about helping with food and sponsors, I had to go through my phone and show her, when she saw she asked why would they do that. I'm now without a job, my marriage on the line, struggling for food, don't know how I will pay next month rent in a place that is nt good for me but have no other option. There is so much more I want to say that's 100 times worse but it's not my place to expose other people's life.. This is also not everything that I experienced. If anyone wants more information or to hear more of my experience. Please feel free to watsapp me ***. Physical abuse by the owner who is a pastor. There are other people there at the moment who are being treated horribly. That's in contact with me and willing to speak.