Impossible to close accounts with Absa

One day an FNB consultant came into our offices and transferred everyone across to FNB Banking in the space of about 10 minutes! However when they tried to close my Absa accounts they got so much pushback that I ended up with 2 cheque accounts, 2 overdrafts and 2 credit cards! One with each Bank! I have subsequently tried to close the accounts for about 5 years! They take off their little fees every month, if I work it out over the years I feel sick about how much they are *****ing from me. I do not use the accounts at all.... and suddenly I also have an overdraft that is getting depleted at the same time. I went into the branch to close them and I was told I have to PHONE to close the credit card.... so now I phone and don't pass a security check (because I have had 2 postal addresses in the last 5 years.... 2 email addresses etc etc,..... so now I am told I must go into the bank and verify myself with my ID.... then walk outside the bank and phone and cancel!! SERIOUSLY? Absa I will NEVER recommend anyone to your company..... FNB ALL THE WAY... FNB must be the best, most efficient and helpful bank. I have even filed out a heap of paperwork to close these accounts and emailed them back.... and guess what they are ALL STILL OPEN..... sucking money out of me for absolutely no service.