If ABSA moved any slower, they'd go backwards. No credit limit increase - but here's a new loan offer for you!

The most ridiculous experience with ABSA, AGAIN. This seems to be the only way to get hold of anyone. App**** for a credit limit increase a few months ago, got frustrated with the person on the other end who apparently can't tell the difference between a debit and a credit on a bank statement, and wanted me to go to FNB to get a to the date statement because 6 months bank statements is not enough proof of income, and so eventually just gave up.

Tried again just over a week ago - prompted by a pop-up on the app. Preliminary approval done, just submit your documents - oh wait, can't submit that many documents on the app - please email them. So I do. Then receive several more emails asking me to submit them. I rep**** saying I did. Eventually get told they can't open them. Send in a different format. No response. Emailed every email address I could find, several times, looking for any kind of answers, and alas - no useful info. One sad email saying someone will look into it and it'll take a few days.

But that's not even the worst of it. Since then I have had not one, but THREE spam calls from ABSA offering me personal loans at atrocious interest rates and a NEW credit card! Imagine that! What the actual ?!@K?!?!?! And despite me explaining my situation, they're pushy about it too.

Not a care in the world from this bank, I swear. If they moved any slower, these homies would be going backwards.

I just want a yes or a no so I know if I'm staying or moving to Standard Bank who is responsive and offered me a pretty competitive interest rate. That's all. A yes or a no. It cannot be this complicated.

Someone, anyone, please send help.