****ndous service from ABSA

I am have been banking with ABSA Private Banking since 2014. The banking fees are higher than usual fees to accommodate for a premium service for busy professionals. Or so they claim.

My credit card expires at the end of this month. As part of the Private Banking experience, a plan is made to issue a new card two months prior to this expiration date. Seven weeks ago, I emailed Private Assist to arrange delivery of a new card. They never followed up on this email and when I called their hotline the following week, I was informed that they had tried to phone me back - once - and when I didn't answer, they felt they had sufficiently addressed my issue and left it. No follow up phone call, no email. I am a doctor working in ICU, I frequently miss phone calls and I'm sure many other clients do too. I find it odd that a single phone call is the sum total of their follow-up to a promised service.

Regardless, I called again and made a firm plan for delivery of the card, which never happened. The following week I called the hotline again, to be told again that as I hadn't answered my phone again, the card hadn't been delivered. Considering that the delivery time and date had been set and confirmed the previous week, I'm not sure why this resulted in non-delivery of my card. And so again we arranged a new date, which again was not adhered to.

When I followed up THIS failed delivery, I was told that the courier had been to my house and that I wasn't there. The hotline was completely correct about this - I was NOT there, because they delivered the card on the wrong date.

I then arranged to have the card delivered this past Monday, knowing I would be at home. The card was not delivered and the upon calling the hotline, was assured it would be delivered today.

This morning, not only did I have the distinct displeasure of not receiving my new card as planned (although I don't know why I was even surprised) but I discovered while trying to draw money that my current active credit card had been cancelled... By whom, I can only guess, because it certainly wasn't me.

Once again I dialled the now-fami**** hotline number. Not only could the consultant not tell me who had cancelled my card or why, but also couldn't tell me where my new credit card was. He then phoned back while I was busy with a patient to give me the courier's contact details so that I could contact them myself. Contact them myself? In a private banking service charging premium fees?

ABSA, your service is appalling and I have already contacted Investec to change banks. Furthermore, don't be fooled by the single star I've awarded you in my review. It's only because I'm apparently unable to give zero stars.