ABSA YOU ARE A NIGHTMARE!!!!

I experienced ***** on 7 November. It was my fault. I accepted that. Then approximately 2 weeks later my online banking app was frozen after I received a telephone call from Absa ***** to say someone was trying to access my online banking app and therefore, my online banking (including on my phone) had been frozen and I would have to go into the bank to reactivate everything. (Let me insert here NOBODY has access to my cheque account number other than my 3 debit order payees. Whenever I do transactions I use my credit card whether shopping in stores or online. DSTV, Telkom and my internet provider are the only ones with access to this number.) Fast forward to the Absa telephone call. I ask Absa when I was involved with the ********** transaction on 7 November, would that person have been sent my cheque account number? I was told emphatically no so I figured out 1 of the 3 debit order companies may be involved in this attempted log on OR the person works for Absa. (The information is sold to ********???) Based on the ********** transaction and the subsequent ***** telephone call I made the decision to cancel my debit orders and pay these accounts via other means. I also made the decision to close the cheque account that was "being hacked" because every single time someone tries to gain access to my account it will be blocked and I will probably be spending the next year of my life having to go into the bank every week to resolve the matter. Now here is where the "fun" starts. I go into Absa at 9.10am. There are queues everywhere - to the tellers, to the enquiries counter, to the consultants........ I choose the enquiries counter. I wait almost an hour. I finally get to the lady working enquiries, she listens to my story and tells me no I need to see a consultant. :( I go and sit in the line to see a consultant. After 40 or so minutes I am attended to by an arrogant, condescending man with a very strange attitude. I explain to him the entire situation - I have decided to close my current cheque account and want to rather open a new one which number I will give to nobody. Every single time he has to adjust something on the system, he needs an "override". Like I said, the bank is full with lines going out the door. The Manager is running literally from 1 side of the building to the next. Every time we need an override we have to wait 5-10 minutes for someone authorised to do it. After about 2 hours I have managed to deactivate cheque account 1 and open new cheque account 2. But it gets better. I now have to stand in the line for the tellers because they have to transfer the funds from account 1 to account 2 and then close account 1. Yep, the consultant can't do it. So I stand in the queue for the tellers. There are 2 tellers on duty and it's month end also and 1 day before the school holidays. :) Yes, I finally left the bank at 1.50!!! It took me 4 hours to close an account and open a new one. But of course this lovely story doesn't end there. Yesterday, the day after I've been through my 4 hours of hell, I am now trying to add the beneficiaries I lost from account 1 because yep you got it, the consultant couldn't pull the beneficiaries over on his system :) No matter how many times I try it says ERROR. I phone Absa tollfree line. The lady I speak to tells me my transactional limits are set to zero thus I need to go into the bank and get it changed! <banging my head on the table> I phone the bank 15 times and of those, only 3 were answered. 1 I got cut off. Yep, you read that right and when I finally got through to the rude arrogant consultant who "helped" me the day before, he tells me he is BUSY RIGHT NOW and will call me back.............................. <banging my head on the table> To be fair, he does phone me back about 40 minutes later and in his condescending tone he tells me he told me it would take 48 hours before I could do anything on my banking app. He also tells me the exact opposite of what the tollfree lady told me!!!!!!!!!!!!! <banging my head on the table> As of right now I haven't dared to touch my online banking app on my phone. ABSA IS A NIGHTMARE. With all the competition out there you would think they would be on their A game and they really need to employ staff who are friendly, helpful and know what they are doing!!! And 4 hours DOESN'T CUT IT!