ABSA TRUST can't do a commen calculation.

My life partner has passed away. Since his passing, ABSA Trust has been treating me like ****. I was his life partner, I looked after him when he was so sick that he could not dress himself. I changed his nappies.. I paid for his funeral from my pocket the difference between what I have transferred to my account for the funeral, and what the funeral costed in the end. He did not update his estate, so his ex life partner of 15 years ago, is getting everything that was his. Now I get told that I need to get permission from her to have a head stone erected on his grave.. I have a problem to get the excess monies back that I paid for his funeral. ABSA you treat me like ****, but I was the one with him in his last days.... and you can't do a simple calculation, when you have all the proof in front of you.