ABSA South Africa

Absa South Africa : As a lifelong customer I must congratulate them on getting the laziest man alive to open an account at another bank. My saga begins more than a month ago when I decide to update my cell number on their website and realize you can't update the RVN notification cell on their website, I log out and get the "FICA docs required" message (because I updated a contact number) so I upload the docs required and log back out. I notice later there's still a "FICA" message but their website shows my docs clearly already uploaded. There is a message that if already submitted they are waiting for approval so safe to ignore. Past Thursday I decide to go to the Paarl Mall branch and get the RVN notification cell number changed but I am told by the consultant that I am not FICA compliant ... more than a month after uploading! I don't have the documents on hand so I leave. This morning I stop by the Paarl Main Rd. branch, I notice while waiting in the long queue that there are only two out of eight customer service consultants open, the third walks in 30min late. Many folks in queue complaining about being told to go to another dept. but then getting sent right back to the same queue and losing their place. Finally get to a consultant and hand him my FICA docs .. he immediately has to call someone for some sort of authorization or override and we wait because there is no supervisor on the floor waiting to do these things. This repeats 3 times, I would estimate around 20 mins of waiting per 5 mins of work. Finally he goes to scan my docs, he tells me around 5 mins later that he is still waiting for their FICA dept. to email him back, another 5 mins pass before he has the email but soon he is standing still again and informs me he had to email the FICA dept again because they approved the docs but neglected to remove the lock so he still can't update my RVN cell number, nobody in the branch has a number to call these clowns and they don't even answer their own consultants emails. Told they will phone me when the lock is removed (and I stand in the 30min queue again?) ... 5 hours later and the lock has still not been removed.