ABSA - Private Banking fail number 3

I recently contacted ABSA Private Banking for the third time in as many years regarding opening a Private Banking account. Initially in 2017 I raised a complaint here on Hello Peter due to their lack of response for several weeks. In 2018 when applying for a homeloan through ABSA I enquired again as I wished to have a transactional account / relationship with the bank [I bank with RMB Private Wealth], after spending four weeks trying to get in contact with someone, and again having to escalate my complaint(s) to their customer services department I finally did open an account... which failed. Miserably!

Now two years on and still with my vehicle and property financed through ABSA I thought it time to give them the chance once again... and oh how bitterly disappointed I am. It has been two weeks, three phone calls, twelve emails and I am yet to receive anything other than an automated response promising someone will contact me. How on earth can they call themselves a customer focused bank, much less try and "sell" a Private Banking suite?

I mean, lets face it, ALL banks are useless when it truly comes down to it, but really ABSA, you have to be the absolute worst!