Absa Private Banking - do they know what this means?

As a reluctant Absa client (homeloan and vehicle finance) I have been looking at moving from FNB Private Wealth to Absa Private Banking as I wanted to look to consolidate my banking. Alas there are a few problems: 1.) Their website completely ineffective of communicating any meaningful details of their product offering, qualifying criteria, features etc, 2.) Their contact numbers are incorrect / inactive. 3.) Their Private Banking email is quick to send an auto response, but after 5 days I'm awaiting an actual response. 4.) Their contact form much like their advertised email is also quick to send an auto response, but again, no actual call back in 5 days.

I'm beginning to think that "Private Banking" in South Africa is little more than a black plastic card and increased bank charges.