ABSA missing payments, a mythical creation or an actual department?

Ah ABSA bank missing payments, is it a real department of ABSA or just an e-mail address the call centre agents use when they know they can't (and no one can) help you, like when you're parents say the animal is not dead he's just "sleeping" shhh, it's gonna be fine. The absolute delight on the other side of the conversation excitedly explains: "Oh no they don't have phones there..." when pressed for a phone number of "missing payments" and "missing payments" seems to be like the kind of place where I want to go on holiday to...maybe my "sleeping" pets already holiday there? Anyway I send the e-mail, I send e-mails asking acknowledgement of receipt of e-mail, I send e-mails asking some kid of reply and missing payments is quiet, because they're missing payments so I mean they've got to sell the whole vibe of being missing, right? Que MacRobert Attorneys (also a department of the underworld) who have been harassing me at work for two months now and I ask the absolutely clueless person if they act on behalf of ABSA and with the absolute pride of a lion she roars yes she absolutely DOES represent ABSA, so then I ask her to arrange for the allocation of my missing payment she says no she DOES NOT work for ABSA,and absolutely CAN NOT help me, but then starts to fight with me, because she wants to back out of this conversation now like a little lamb, but I'm asking her to send her name to me via e-mail, because I need to compile some sort of evidence that ABSA is absolutely refusing to allocate my payment to my account, and sister on the other side is now shouting at me, because she does want to harass me at work, but doesn't quite understand her job, (what does representing ABSA mean she now wonders at night). So here it is my offer to hellopeter about ABSA missing payments refusing to allocate my payment, about MacRobert Attroneys useless staff that are great at violating the Debt Collectors' Code of Conduct on a daily basis yet will not help their own client, because it's not really their client, like, it is, but like, it's not, like we're gonna call you to be all "pay absa", but we don't like "know absa" do you know what I mean? Maybe I should take action for performance and claim legal costs, who knows. Gosh maybe I should start an Instagram Account for ABSA missing payments...