ABSA lutely Useless

I app**** and received my Woolworths Gold Credit Card. If I only knew that ABSA is the bank behind it, I would not even have considered a Woolies Credit Card. So I downloaded the Woolies Telephone App for my credit card and it works fine. But now, try to register for online banking with ABSA. Dear lord help us all. I have made 9 calls in total, the first three who answered blatantly put the phone down in my ear after I explained I needed help to login to Woolies / ABSA Online Banking. The next 3 put me through to another department, and I then held on forever only to be cut off again, three times!. The last three people I spoke to escalated it to the ABSA Online Technical Department who would apparently contact me and guide me through the steps so I can do online banking with my Woolworths Credit Card. That was Friday the 22nd of July, and I was told I would be contacted within 24 Hours. ABSA can you please try and be like Capitec or Discovery bank and provide actual customer service. Are you actually capable of that? I am not waiting with bated breath for any reply or help from ABSA. I have dealt with your incompetence before.