Absa is the worst bank in South Africa, hands down.

I went into Absa today to close my credit card account, open a savings account and a deposit account. Should be simple right? Wrong... I was there for 3 hours; I kid you not. It was the worst service I've ever received from a bank. Was quick enough to open the savings and deposit account (about 20 mins each), but took about 45 mins to close the credit card account. They charged me R140 for a card on the new savings account. Okay. But it doesn't stop there. Then they charged me R75 to transfer my credit in the credit card account to the savings account and I was under the impression transfers were free, as per usual on internet banking. I wasn't asked, it was just done like that.. Okay again, fine. But then they ask me to transfer R150 back to the card account, so they can close it. No explanation as to why. Reaching boiling point now. So they finally close the card. Then the consultant tells me, that was also just supposed to cost R75. Also no idea why there is a cost to it, but he promises to transfer back to the savings account the remaining R75, which never happened. Next step is to update my internet and cell phone banking app and this is where the worst comes. First the new accounts don't show up on the internet banking, after a bunch of tries, I'm asked to reinstall the app on my phone, which I did. Then the new accounts show up, so I ask to test internet banking and then I'm informed I only have view privileges, because limits were not set. So the consultant sets the limits. Then I go onto internet banking again and I get an error saying it detect a sim swop on my phone all of a sudden. Fantastic! So the consultant phones around, tries everything and nothing works. Eventually, he asks me to phone vodacom to confirm there hasn't been a sim swap. I do so, no luck. Did you know you can't speak to a human at vodacom anymore? Request a call back, no call back happens. I go to the vodacom shop in the mall and guess what, their systems are offline. I go back to the branch. Another consultant tries to assist and gets digital banking on the phone, who proceeds to interrogate me to prove that I am, who I am. They ask me everything about my life, so that they can unlock the accounts, so that my internet banking can work, making me say that if they do so, I have to take all responsibility in case my sim was swopped. OH MY *&#^$%@! I'm sitting there, nearly 3 hours in at that point, with valid ID in my hand, accounts closed and opened and now they don't believe I am who I claim to be, but at the same time, I must take all responsibility for their mess. WOW! I got so angry, frustrated and disappointed and was scared I would assault someone in the branch, but I realized, it's not the people that work there that is the problem, it is a bank with the worst policies and procedures ever and that, that is the reason I was boiling. I got up, stormed out and went home. It took me 3 hours today, my lunch time, gone, my work time, gone and I have nothing to show for it AND I can't access my own money. If anyone wants to know, which is the worst bank in South Africa, hands down, it is Absa.