ABSA do not know how to activate internet banking

Just opened a new bank account. All I want to do is transfer money, but because the consultant took so long the clerks already left. "No problem, you can do it online, if..." ABSA'S INTERNAT BANKING WORKS!!!

Download the app, registered for online banking. "Registration unsuccessful, please visit your nearest branch." Hey, but I am at the branch! But, the consultant was not willing to try to help.

First excuse: "It is loadshedding's fault" (but the power has been restored for more than 4 hours!) Second excuse: "It must be your phone" (reinstalled the app, no errors) Third excuse: "It must be your network" (all other online apps work) Fourth excuse: "Oh, you need to deposit money first into your account, before you can register for internet banking" (ok, great, but the clerks already left, so I went to the ATM and deposit R50 cash, still not working) Fifth excuse: "YOU have to call Internet Banking" (now I must make the phone call while I am standing in the branch?!? Probably because she is too lazy to do her job)

Internet banking: "You have to visit your branch". Branch: "You have too call Internet banking".

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST DO THEIR JOB AND ACTIVATE MY INTERNET BANKING!!!!!!!

The consultant's name was: Shirley Mosito