ABSA cannot close account after immigrating

Absa has got to be the worst bank in SA. i no longer live in South Africa and called Absa to cancel my current account - first predictable answer...."come into the branch", this after telling the call centre consultants numerous times that I AM NO LONGER IN THE COUNTRY. how am i supposed to get to a branch? i am thousands of miles off the s****s of SA. they keep charging me monthly fees and are adamant that there is no exception that can be made, am i supposed to just grin and bare paying absa over R300 a month for nothing? for years to come??? the account is inactive!!! how is this right? how do the policies of this bank allow it to rob people of money like this.... if i can open an account online, why cant i close the same way??? the last response i got was "you left the country without closing it, so that's your problem ma'am!!! are you serious ABSA??? i'm sorry i wasn't aware we still live in 1905 where remote identity verification is impossible.... surely i'm not the only person living abroad who has experienced this??? very angry at such dishonest policies.