ABSA (All-Banking-Surely-Awful)

I have recently Join ABSA. I opened this account online and everything went well to the point where I received an account number and got a call to tell me everything is fine and I should go to a local branch to pick up the card but the reality of the situation is. The account does not work. My card is not accepted by the ATM I cannot register for online banking or cellphone banking. Been in their branches and I was told to wait because it can take a while. I have instructed by work to pay my salary into this account but now I have received no salary and I cannot get a statement or get ABSA to call me to fix the account immediately. Not a good start as a new customer u would think that they will do their best to help you but ABSA i have technically had this account less than a month and it still is not working. Completely disappointed